What English lad doesn’t dream about becoming a pro footballer? Playing on the greatest stages, in the greatest stadiums, competing for the greatest prizes…
The pride. The honor. The privilege.
Except for England’s footballers when they play on the international stage, that is…
Same Old England…
English folks are well used to seeing the nation’s footballers morph from Premier League studs to international duds. No surprise there.
What was surprising, however, was the sheer scale of pitiful, pathetic shite that these lavishly paid “stars” served up against the footballing titans from Algeria last Friday. It was among the worst I’ve ever seen from an England team.
And yes… that includes the many dark days under Graham Taylor, Kevin Keegan, Sven-Goran Eriksson and Steve McLaren.
English fans can stomach a bad performance. It happens. But what’s unacceptable is a total lack of heart, emotion, passion, spirit, determination, urgency and overall will to win.
England’s players had none of those qualities against Algeria. Come to think of it, I don’t remember a single serious shot on goal or any decent moves. It was unbelievably, shockingly, embarrassingly bad.
Wayne’s World
The chorus of boos that England fans serenaded the team with were richly deserved. After all, these folks paid a lot of money to travel to South Africa.
But it was all too much for poor Wayne Rooney, with the anonymous striker only coming to life when a camera focused on him leaving the field: “It’s nice to see your home fans booing,” he whined sarcastically to the global audience and English nation.
So sorry, Wayne… didn’t mean to wake you up, lad.
He later apologized and said he was speaking out of frustration. No shit, mate. But he’d be better off shutting his piehole and trying to remedy that brutally heavy first-touch he’s suddenly contracted. It was as deft as Freddie Kruger.
Wanted: English GPS
Capello says the pressure is getting to the players. I don’t buy it. They’re not unfamiliar with big games and pressure situations, so they shouldn’t be overawed or playing scared. Not given the opposition so far. Surely they’re not that mentally fragile?
What’s worrying, though, is that these are the same players who breezed through qualifying with nine wins and one loss, playing confidently, freely and with flair. So what’s up? Over to you, Fabio…
“It is a problem because these players have trained very well. But in the two games it’s not the same team that I know.”
It’s unrealistic to think that they’ve suddenly become bad players. But as I said in my last post, they constantly talk a great game, but never back it up in major tournaments. Right now, the England “team” isn’t really a team at all. It’s a collection of individuals on safari. It’s a highly frustrating and depressingly familiar situation.
Confused Capello and Tosser Terry
I thought Capello was supposed to be tactically astute. But like the players, he’s suddenly morphed from stud to dud and is all over the place.
He wants them to play the high-tempo, Premier League-style game. I agree. But he’s confused…
“I don’t understand why during a game, we don’t change the rhythm or speed. We are really slow. If you don’t run or press or fight, it is difficult to go forward.”
So why is the team doing the exact opposite of his instructions – toiling through a slow, plodding, indirect game? And why is a highly successful coach (on a five million quid salary, no less) confused and unable to figure it out?
To compound the malaise, Knobhead-in-Chief John Terry attempted a mutiny by publicly saying that some players are unhappy with Capello’s strict, disciplined regime, team selection and tactics (including the omission of Joe Cole and naming the team two hours before kickoff) and that they wanted “clear-the-air” talks:
“Everyone needs to get off their chest exactly how they’re feeling. If it upsets him [Capello], or it upsets any player, then so be it.”
As if Terry wasn’t despised enough already in English football for his off-the-field antics, he’s stepped up again with another display of egotism and stupidity. Aside from forgetting that he’s not captain any more – and his outburst seems rooted in bitterness and resentment about Capello taking it from him – it’s embarrassingly backfired, since he clearly didn’t have as much player support as he thought. His Chelsea mate, Frank Lampard, moved to downplay the “clear-the-air,” confrontational stuff and suggestions of a rift. And Capello himself has slapped Terry back into place and criticized him for going public instead of doing it privately.
Oh, and the players are bored at their hotel/training complex, too. All there is to do in the five-star, luxury surroundings is train, eat, sleep, swim and play games. Poor f**kers.
The point about team selection and tactics is valid, though – the whole country is questioning them…
X’s and O’s
Against Algeria (and the USA, for that matter), Rooney was drifting back to central-midfield. Heskey popped up at right-back, punting long balls to the towering Aaron Lennon. Gerrard and Lampard were again shadows of their Premier League selves. Johnson and Cole – two of the best attacking full-backs in the tournament – provided zero attacking threat. Elsewhere…
~ Why does Wright-Phillips replace Lennon? They’re the same player! Neither can cross the ball and they obviously see the corner flag as a nymphomaniac supermodel, luring them towards it, only to grab their balls when they get there!
~ Why hasn’t Joe Cole – a skillful, tricky player who’s done well for England before and can “unlock a defence” (as Terry put it) – played a single minute?
~ Why is Gerrard drifting aimlessly on the left? It ain’t working – and he’s not happy there, which is why he keeps drifting back towards the middle! Change it.
We need to play a 4-4-1-1 formation. Heskey is supposedly playing because he works well with Rooney. Well, that ain’t working either – and he’s certainly not going to score goals.
Play J. Cole on the left, so Gerrard can move into the middle behind Rooney. This would also give Ashley Cole more support coming forward and beef up the left side. Use Barry as protection for the defence and get the midfielders forward quicker to support Rooney. (Oh, and if it’s not too much to ask, play with some passion, spirit, movement and will to win.) We have the players to do this – they routinely do it for their clubs. It ain’t rocket science, so why can’t Capello see this?
Capello simultaneously signals for England to “piss off” and that he’s sticking with two up front… including Heskey.
And so, it’s come to this…
London Calling?
Like the USA, England control their destiny: A win will guarantee progress to Round 2. The best-case scenario is that they both win.
Ridiculously – and almost unbelievably, given the current shambles – England can actually win the group if they win by a greater margin than the USA on Wednesday.
And given the way the group stands and the possible scenarios, there’s actually little margin for anything other than a win. Failure would mean this becomes the first England team to fall at the World Cup’s first hurdle since 1958. Heathrow and the wrath of England would beckon and Capello would probably resign.
If there are bright sides here…
~ While England look clueless going forward, the defence – supposedly our weak link – looks solid. Aside from Rob Green’s blunder and the USA shot that hit the post, England’s goalies have had nothing to do.
~ Carragher is suspended for the Slovenia game, so Upson will partner Terry. Upson isn’t great, but he’s Bobby Moore compared to Carragher.
~ Maybe playing against a European team will be more to England’s liking. If this were a qualifying game, we’d be expected to win, either home or away.
~ In the 1990 World Cup, England started with two draws and needed to beat Egypt in the final group game to progress. They did. Back then, the players were also unhappy with the formation and style of play and held talks with the management team. After changes, the team rolled all the way to the semi-final.
Desperate? Clutching at straws? Maybe. Especially since Capello is still searching for his team: “I hope in the next game we forget these two performances. On Wednesday, I hope to see the England team.”
Yes, I hope so too, mate. It would be nice if they showed up this time. The English will take anything we can get at the moment. And most of all… a win.
Martin
